Let Go and Let God

Happy Sunday to everyone :]

As you may know, I am quickly nearing my due date. I am 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant with my second baby. We had a situation yesterday (a quite bizarre situation) that left us thinking baby is coming NOW. Well clearly - he didn't..and he hasn't.

I was totally emotionally and physically drained by the end of the day. We ended up going to bed at 8:30, and I woke up feeling totally normal..well as normal as 38 weeks pregnant can feel :P. a few friends and one of my midwives have said that there may be something I need to let go of so that labor can progress..the only think I can think is that I need to let God handle this process. I need to trust that my body and my baby will work together. Most of all, I need to keep in mind that although this time can feel so stretched out, no matter what, a baby is going to be born soon.

So maybe that's it...I just need to loosen the reigns and let God handle this and enjoy however longer I have left before we become a family of four. I'm letting go. I'm letting God.

But this all reminds me of my pregnancy with Grace....if you'll stick with me just awhile longer I'd love to share her birth story now, since I wasn't blogging at the time.

Grace's Birth 7-11-14

The day I went into labor was a Thursday, Friday I would be 41 weeks pregnant! I was so ready. I can remember waking up that morning and thinking to myself "this is it, this is my last day of pregnancy. I just know." I can't remember what I did that day - but I do remember that I had an appointment with the midwife at 3:30. She was pretty eager to get things moving, so she did a check and a membrane sweep and gave me a list of ingredients to make an "induction cocktail". I can remember thinking that it probably wouldn't actually work - but I was determined to try!

4pm: We left the office and I was having some mild cramping, but nothing that I hadn't experienced before..I thought nothing of it. We stopped at the grocery store, gathered ingredients and last minute things we may want on hand, and we were on our way home.

We Got home and I can remember feeling some contractions..but again nothing intense or "real"...I was still in denial that this could be "it" I drank the most disgusting mixture of ingredients while Sam laughed at the faces I was making and we went about our normal evening.

8pm: I was needing to concentrate through contractions..at this point we were pretty sure that this was the real deal! We were going to have a baby tonight!!! I alternated from standing and swaying my hips to jumping in the shower. We were keeping my midwife updated but she didn't think I was ready to come in.

the hours from 8pm to 11pm are a blur!

11pm: I was crying, moaning, but insisting that we shouldn't leave for the hospital yet. My midwife still didn't think I sounded ready to come in. I had no idea where I was in labor - all I knew was it HURT. We left even though the midwife seemed like she wanted us to stay home...the car ride to the hospital took 30 minutes. I can't describe to you how painful those 30 minutes were...by the tail end of the trip I told Sam I was pushing!!

11:30pm: I came ROARing into the hospital...all modesty or sense of embarrassment was out the window at this point. I walked into triage, got into my room, and whipped my clothes off. I went right to the toilet because that seemed like the right place to be! I can remember Sam telling the nurse I was pushing and she yelled at me to GET OFF the toilet!! I begrudgingly obeyed and got onto the bed where she checked me and said "You're at a 10!!!"....she (and maybe some other people??) wheeled me down the hall on that bed to the birthing room.

11:45??: I was feeling so much at this point...the baby was coming fast!! My doula arrived while I was pushing, and she took my hand and reassured me that everything would be fine!! I think we were all kind of surprised that they had me flat on my back (I was aiming for waterbirth, obviously got there too late, but never expected to be pushing flat on my back against gravity). Later on I learned that this was to slow me down a bit..sometimes it can be dangerous for a baby to be born too quickly. I can remember my midwife asking me if I wanted a 7-10 baby or a 7-11 baby...I don't think I responded (or cared), however Grace was born at 12:02 am on 7-11-14. The relief I felt was so immense that I practically forgot that a baby came out of the whole ordeal! When they put Grace on my chest I was in too much shock to process that she was born. I remember saying hello to her and asking what color eyes she had.

The afterbirth was born and I hemorrhaged a bit but it was easily controlled...thankfully I didn't tear, but I did fracture my tailbone! An issue I'm still dealing with as we speak!

They did all the assessments on Grace while she rested peacefully on my chest. She took to the breast very easily and breastfeeding came very naturally to me. We spent an hour just admiring her before they moved us to our room.

And there you have it. Grace Isabelle Shesman practically ran into this world. She has a booming personality and she makes us smile on a regular basis. We are thankful to God for the gift of a child and we're looking forward to expanding our family once again...but of course, it will happen when it happens.